Nothing Makes Me Feel More Useless Than 15 Year Old Olympians

Polina Edmunds is a 15 year old figure skater from San Jose, California. Since we’ve been alive for the same amount of time, I’ve decided to compare some of our life accomplishments. There is a chance I will cry typing this.

To briefly summarize her successes, Polina placed 7th and 6th in the junior level U.S. Championship in 2011 and 2012 respectively.  Then she won it in 2013. That year she also won gold metal at her Junior Grand Prix assignment in Mexico City. At the beginning of 2014, she placed second in the senior level U.S. Championships. And now she’s in the Sochi Olympics.

Now for myself.

In 2011, back in middle school, I once got 3 compliments on one outfit! That was a highlight for sure. Although one was from an old science teacher. Okay, so 2 compliments on one outfit.

Oh, also in 2012, a boy kissed me. He was kind of cute. Kind of. It was a dare but hey, his lips touched mine. Who wants to be getting junior level U.S. Championship titles when you can get a peck on the lips from some acne cover boy?

And while Polina was doing spins and twirls around all those figure skaters in 2o13, I was typing my way to 10 pages on an English essay I was writing. It was a damn good essay too. I bet the feeling of handing that in was even better than receiving that gold metal in Mexico City. Although I did feel pretty guilty after I had to kill a tree printing the essay out twice, as I had forgotten the page numbers the first time.

In early January 2014, while Polina was skating in Boston for her silver metal at the U.S. Championships that would lead her to Sochi, I was mere miles away taking my math midterm that would lead my term grade up to an A-. I can not imagine giving up that grade for anything. Gold medals? Nahh. I’m not that materialistic.

So there you have it.  My attempted self justification that I have not wasted my entire life thus far.

Excuse me, but I have to grab another tissue box.


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